It was my 32nd birthday this week. And I can honestly say that GOD THREW ME THE MOST AMAZING PARTY EVER. When it all started to unfold I decided I should write everything he did for me. A LOT of what he did came through people that love me but many of his gifts were also things his own hand personally orchestrated just for this little child.
As the day went on, I realized it would take me hours upon hours to write all the unique and personal ways he ministered love to me. And I've just got too much laundry to fold and little disciples to love and iced (it's in the 80's here!) decaf lattes to make for my hubby to spend that much time writing. It was truly more than my words could contain. If all Jesus did for me in one day would take hours upon hours to write about and unpack, NO WONDER John says this of Jesus' earthly life: " Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." I also now know why John calls himself the disciple Jesus loved. He must have experienced Jesus the way I am right now. A way that so powerfully transformed him that he knew no more fitting way to refer to himself than "the disciple Jesus loved." This has been building for a while in my soul and our suffering in the wilderness has been laying a foundation for what God is doing in me currently. From SLAVERY to sin to WILDERNESS testing to PROMISE LAND Rest and Renewal-that's been my journey these past 10 years of walking with Jesus.
Jesus has me in a very unique spot right now. One of Promised Land Soul Rest and Renewal. A little personal revival, if you will. It's amazing me and overwhelming me all at the same time.
So in light of my birthday and his overwhelming love for me, here's what I landed on: I've decided to take a break from my blog. (for now!) I haven't been very consistent with it since we moved back to the US and I think it's just because we've lived in a wilderness for the past few years. It's been hard for me to write authentically in the midst of suffering, transition, confusion and chaos...so often I just didn't write.
But recently, he seems to be moving us out of this wilderness and into a place that flows with milk and honey...a place filled with rich treasures of his love for me to discover. I finally have new insight into his pursuit of me while I was in slavery to sin (OH HE WAS THERE, WORKING TO RESCUE ME), an understanding of some of the purposes of our intense wilderness time (OH HE WAS THERE PRUNING ME TO NOTHING SO NEW LIFE COULD COME), and I have a new way (YES NEW LIFE!) of relating to my Savior. It's a bit like falling in love, only stronger.
He just keeps overwhelming me with more of himself, with deeper understandings of who he is and his heart of love for me. Everyday has become a gift from him for me to unwrap. "Normal" interactions with his word and others around me have deep meaning and God is using them to powerfully rewire my heart-and-soul understanding of how to walk intimately with him.
So I'm (attempting) to cut a few (good) things (that I love and have value) out of my life (for a bit) so I can spend more time with him, the LOVER OF MY SOUL. He's burning things in my soul that I long to write about...but I can't keep up with the pace he's setting for my relationship with him along with the pace of loving and serving my family and church and other things on top of those two primary things...so I'm just taking a break from my blog and maybe a few other things to clear some space for my main man, Jesus,... and for my four other peeps, those dear Huffmans I'm called to serve and love. I'm delighted to give my spare moments to him and make some changes so there's more room for "us".
I hope to get back to writing about what I'm learning about the LOVER of my soul as I walk through my small tiny little life. But for now, I'm waiting on my main man, spending my time sitting at his feet. And I pray that God does for you what he is currently doing for me through the Holy Spirit: "and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:5
But recently, he seems to be moving us out of this wilderness and into a place that flows with milk and honey...a place filled with rich treasures of his love for me to discover. I finally have new insight into his pursuit of me while I was in slavery to sin (OH HE WAS THERE, WORKING TO RESCUE ME), an understanding of some of the purposes of our intense wilderness time (OH HE WAS THERE PRUNING ME TO NOTHING SO NEW LIFE COULD COME), and I have a new way (YES NEW LIFE!) of relating to my Savior. It's a bit like falling in love, only stronger.
He just keeps overwhelming me with more of himself, with deeper understandings of who he is and his heart of love for me. Everyday has become a gift from him for me to unwrap. "Normal" interactions with his word and others around me have deep meaning and God is using them to powerfully rewire my heart-and-soul understanding of how to walk intimately with him.
So I'm (attempting) to cut a few (good) things (that I love and have value) out of my life (for a bit) so I can spend more time with him, the LOVER OF MY SOUL. He's burning things in my soul that I long to write about...but I can't keep up with the pace he's setting for my relationship with him along with the pace of loving and serving my family and church and other things on top of those two primary things...so I'm just taking a break from my blog and maybe a few other things to clear some space for my main man, Jesus,... and for my four other peeps, those dear Huffmans I'm called to serve and love. I'm delighted to give my spare moments to him and make some changes so there's more room for "us".
I hope to get back to writing about what I'm learning about the LOVER of my soul as I walk through my small tiny little life. But for now, I'm waiting on my main man, spending my time sitting at his feet. And I pray that God does for you what he is currently doing for me through the Holy Spirit: "and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:5
Something has changed inside my soul. There's been a paradigm shift and I know I'll never be the same. I can't exactly explain it, but I know it's God's spirit revealing his Father's heart of love for me that has broken open something inside my soul...and now there's an overflowing river of life...and words, so many words. My IPod has been set to Sara Groves for the past couple of weeks and these two songs say what I am experiencing:
This video was done by someone who went through a recovery program. It's the only video I could find with her song on it. After I watched it, I decided it was perfect. God's had me in a REHAB program of his own and it feels like I just got out! I have a new perspective on life and things are looking pretty bright!!
Though it's my 32nd birthday, I feel like I just showed up for my real life! All day long I carried a candle with me every where I went (see it in the coffee and in my strawberry?!) Now I think it's fitting...experiencing God's love like this really has given me a new lease on life...feels like I am just at the beginning of an extraordinary ordinary life!
Happy Birthday to you, dear Erin Ashley "Lucy" Huffman, girl I love. Love, Jesus



