No. Well, sort of....

A friend asked me recently if I had any new year's resolutions.  It was easy for me to answer her as I had already been thinking about the subject.  The answer: No.  Well...sort of.

I have had a wonderful year of naming gifts each day(my 2014 resolution) , but this year when I think about making some sort of resolution or goal I immediately feel tired.  I am pretty sure I have never fully kept a resolution in all my life and on top of that I have areas in my life where I am already wanting to grow, needing and trying to grow.  But to add a plan or to pile something new on just makes me weary.

More than that, I know myself:  it's not the resolution itself in these areas that can change me.    A person can change me, but a plan, nope.

I had already decided that my new year's resolution would simply be to depend more.  Instead of mapping out a new eating plan or an exercise routine, or charting a course for self recovery in my pride, and materialism, I am just gonna depend.  I am going to draw close to the one who can change me and will change me in his timing.  Right now, that's all I've got and the good news is, that's all he wants from me anyway.

The reason a plan won't change me?  My sin patterns and bad behaviors have deep roots. A plan focuses on my behavior, but I need someone who can transform my heart...the root of all of my bad behaviors.   I need a person, yes Jesus, who knows the depths of my heart, to show me what I am loving in place of him, to teach me to drink from his well instead of the broken cisterns I choose each day.  And this Jesus is so capable.

As I have mulled over this idea the past few days it's been really freeing.  Are you tired like me?  Are you at the end of yourself and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a new plan ain't gonna cut it?  I don't have anything in me to muster up...which is right where my Savior wants me...so instead I will draw close to him, crying "Lord have mercy on me, a sinner" each and every day, and watch what he does.

Instead of being better, I want to be closer.

Instead of walking in my strength, I will walk in dependence on him.

Instead of a call to behave, I will heed the call to behold.

In place of a plan, I will put prayer.


For 2015,that's all I've got folks.  Thankfully, it's more than enough.

GRATITUDE 243 Mountaineer Time!!

Jack and Andy share a love for football (esp the Mountaineers), so many Saturday afternoons are often spent watching games! And Judah is growing to love the Mountaineers as well!  Thankful for the sense of belonging that comes with being a part of a family.  Thankful for common interests and loves.  Thankful for Daddy time!

GRATITUDE 242 Christmas Performance-Judah Style

So grateful for this little class and for the kind teachers!  Judah's Christmas performance was cute...I would have posted a video, but Judah didn't sing the whole time.  Instead he picked his nose and cried...so not to much to see!  HEHE.  But it was delightful.  He loves school and I am grateful for the way these sweet ladies point our kiddos to the gospel.  They are reading through the Jesus storybook Bible, which is one of our favorites.  Our kids are soooo blessed to hear the gospel from such a young age.  God is so kind to our little family!

GRATITUDE 241 Sunday evening baseball

Thankful:

For our Cul de sac
For shorts weather in December
For all the fun people we live near
For cul de sac baseball
For God's kind and lavish provision of our home, neighbors, and friends for our kids.  Kindness.

GRATITUDE 240 An Early Christmas

We had an early Christmas with my parents and it was delightful.  So grateful for these two, for their love and generosity and the really fun time we had this weekend!  

MY. PARENTS. ARE. AWESOME.  

EG made earrings for my mom, who was a very good sport and wore them (they were made with paper clips!!!)

GRATITUDE 239 They're off!

My kids have the best grandparents...the best.  So thankful for the way these two love my kids!

They're off to Legoland for Jack's 6th birthday.

GRATITUDE 238 This season

So thankful for this Advent season...we've had a great time working our way through the Jesse Tree and reading the grand story of God breaking into lives with incredible promises, radical grace, and an incredible plan to rescue his people in the face of their sin and brokenness.  As I have prepared my heart for his coming at Christmas, my mind and heart have been drawn to his second Advent.  Oh come quickly Lord Jesus!

Here are a few things I am thankful for in this season:

chocolate kisses each night with our reading....what delight they bring to my kiddos
Promises of peace with God, peace with each other, and peace in the deepest recesses of my soul!
That my God is wild with mercy, radical with grace, fiercely committed to glorifying his name by rescuing his people
A few cold days where we even had to turn on our little space heaters
Fall colors...yep fall is finally here in Florida
Christmas lights, hot chocolate and friends...a great night!

GRATITUDE 237 Happy Birthday dear Jack!

Tender and kind,
Strong and brave.
Fun and silly.

A gift to this mama indeed.   Happy birthday Jack.  I've said it many times...I am so grateful that I get to be your mama!

GRATITUDE 236 The whisper of the better tree

Satan is the Father of Lies and he's been spinning the same story since the beginning. If you stop and think about the root beliefs behind each choice to sin, you'll here his voice, you'll recognize his lies. Yes, Eve heard his lies loud and clear and she bit into the over-promising and under-delivering fruit of the first tree. We too so often sit under the shadow of that tree,  looking to what the world can offer us, and we don't even know we are listening to his lies.  See if you recognize his voice next time you are heading to pick the fruit yourself. It sounds something like this:

God will withhold from you

He doesn't really want you to have everything your heart really desires

He's not really trustworthy so go ahead, and take care of yourself.

He doesn't really love you

Don't trust him.

But at the better tree, the cross, God whispers the truth to your doubting heart:

I will not withhold anything from you, not even my son. How will I not along with him graciously give you all things?

Through this tree, I give you access back into my presence...where there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. Yes, everything your heart could ever want....it's here with me.

And through this tree, you'll get my spirit too, which will constantly be pushing you to call me Daddy, yes, encouraging you back into loving dependence on me, your good Father.

Yes, at this better tree, in the face of your sin, I give you my son, I give you my spirit, I give you access back to me, your Father. I love you. I always have. I always will.

You don't have to take care of yourself....I love you. I will take care of you. Trust me.

I want to sit under the shadow of the better tree and let God whisper his words of love to my mistrusting heart. Yes, he loves me! Yes, I can trust him. The fruit of the tree, as much as it promises satisfaction and beauty offers nothing compared to the eternal joy and pleasures of being known by God and knowing him.

Let's find time to sit under the better tree and allow it's shadow of love to renew our minds to see him as he is: OUR GOOD HEAVENLY DADDY.   

GRATITUDE 235 Advent Traditions!

Christmas Season is Underway and I am thankful for a time to reflect on our Savior's coming.

Thankful for our Advent Traditions.

Thankful for my cute kids in Christmas pajamas

A fun "night before Advent" hot chocolate party with neighbors

Thankful that Christ has come into my life...that he is coming into all the broken sinful parts and is making me new!