Milestones and Reminders

Today we marked a special milestone of independence in this little one's life.  I sat in the front yard while she biked around the entire neighborhood by herself for the first time!  She can be trusted to stay on the sidewalk and look both ways at each crossing!  This was her proud, smiling face upon  return.  

In some ways it's a small thing, but it represents a step in the process of  her independence.  She's needing me less and less and can take care of herself more and more. We're slowly launching her out into the world around her. Today it was the neighborhood, tomorrow it will be the world.   Though it feels slow, it's all happening so fast. Soon enough she and Jack will be cruising to the Seven-Eleven on their bikes to grab an Icee.  (and a fountain coke for their mom!)  Before too long, she'll be texting me to tell me what time she plans to get home for dinner.  And not too long after that, I'll be playing the role of friend and mentor, rather than authority, as she ventures out into this world as an adult.   I pray God would give us the grace to prepare her well for each step of independence.  

And I lift my eyes from the daily grind of raising children, what day do I see down the road for my Emma Grace?  In no time at all, she,  like me will fly from this earth and stand before her Holy, Loving, Just, Gracious Creator God.  That day is coming and it's the most important day. Oh, let me keep my eyes on that day, both for her and for me.  And give me grace, I pray, to pour out my all, in doing my part to prepare her well for that day.  

Emma Grace, if you're ever reading this one day, here's some of that "heart preparation" I am praying for in you:  

I'm praying  for you to:

RECOGNIZE 

your sin, your brokenness and your need

LOVE 

his grace

SEE 

his sufficiency

REST

TRUST

ABIDE

in who he is and how he loves you!!

Anchors of Truth

Andrew Murray’s formula for trial – “four anchors” 

1. Say, He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place and in that fact I will rest. 

2. He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child. 

3. Then He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn. 

4. In His good time He can bring me out again – how and when He knows. 



So let me say — I am   
1. here by God’s appointment 
2. in His keeping 
3. under His training 
4. for His time 

In the various trials our family has faced over the past few years, I'm coming to trust in these anchors more and more.  I pray the ship of my soul  will be steadied by them as we continue to trust him in the storms he allows in our life.  

Judah's new ride...and an ambulance ride

This hand-me-down car is the new hit with my Judah Boy.  

 He looks so big riding it and the big kiddos love pushing him in it.  Aside from their somewhat dangerous driving, this arrangement makes everyone happy.

Andy says that Judah is "salty."  I think that's a good description of his personality.  He's spunky, like his hair.  When he wrestles with his Daddy, his salty personality really comes out....he laughs, squeals, and then goes on the attack, as if he's as big as his dad. It's quite a sight!

Speaking of rides, Judah and I also took a ride in a ambulance this past weekend.  He was having some difficulty breathing due to YET ANOTHER virus we've had so we took him to a walk-in clinic.  Once we got there, his breathing got much worse and they started a nebulizer and put him on oxygen.  His breathing continued to get worse really quickly so they called 911 and we were in a ambulance and off to the hospital in a matter of 10 minutes.  It still blows my mind how fast it went from "a little trouble breathing" to "we need to call 911".  Once we got to the hospital, the meds started to work and his breathing returned to normal within an hour or so.  We were so grateful for how fast the doctors at the walk-in clinic and the EMT folks worked.  So grateful our salty boy is breathing better and praising the Lord for great medical care.

Green Thumb Graper Girl

 When we grew tomatoes, I found gardening to be incredibly difficult. Emma Grace, on the other hand seems to have a natural knack for it.  She grew theses peppers from seed all by herself!  She's my ambitious creator/inventor/dreamer so growing things suits her well.  For the past year, she's been all about finding seeds to grow.  She's planted acorns and beans, wild flower seeds, orange seeds, and just about anything she thought would grow!  She took a pepper from the fridge, cut it open to harvest some seeds, found a pot, planted the seed, and watched it grow and grow and grow until peppers started to appear!  She tried the first one with hummus and she's saving the rest for a salad this week!  Way to go Grapes, I look forward to seeing what else your ingenious little mind and your green thumb will produce!

EA, meet Grace

This is my new friend Grace.  She is my funky, interesting, SMART, outgoing college-student friend who invited herself over to my house to clean and help me.  YEP, she invited herself over to clean up the left over crumbs from last night's dinner, wash my windows, fold my clothes, help with homework and play UNO with my kids!  And she's been coming each Wednesday for the past couple of months.  She's a delight to be around and I'm enjoying getting to know her more with the passing weeks.  I've learned she has about 10 varieties of mint growing in her back yard and she introduced me to something called coldwater coffee, which is brewed for a day or so before you drink it.  Like I said, she's interesting.

But the main thing I wanted share about Grace is her heart in coming over to clean.  Grace saw my need.  READ: Grace saw my distress.  She noticed that keeping up with three kids and a house was more than I could handle so she asked if she could come over and help on Wednesday afternoons.  But more than wanting to help, she wanted to be with us. Grace told me that cleaning my mess was really her way of getting to hang out with me.  Grace just really loves our family.  And we love her too.

Actually her name isn't Grace, it's Jenn.  But as I've reflected on what Jenn is doing for my family, the word that circulates in my mind is grace.  Jenn's Wednesday visits are giving me fresh reminders of what God's grace is all about.  Here's what I mean.

Grace is God's free unmerited favor for us sinners.  Like the mess in my kitchen that Jenn chooses to come and clean up each week, Jesus came into my mess, by his own choosing to clean it up.  Like Jenn seeing me in my distress, Christ saw my bigger distress of ultimate separation from God, caused by my sin....and he came to clean it.  Of his own choosing and because of the kindness of his heart.  Jenn is not put off by our mess.  In fact when she sees it, SHE LONGS TO HELP.  What a picture of our Savior's heart.  He is not pushed away by what he sees, but instead HE LONGS TO HELP.  Lesson one.

And secondly, and this is the part that has touched me so deeply...Like Jenn, Christ's motive is ultimately about relationship.  Yes he came to die for me and forgive my sins.  But his heart in going through all that suffering was to be with me.  Like Jenn, his motive in cleaning my mess is RELATIONSHIP.  Cleaning my mess, which cost him is life, was the costly, painful means to being with me for eternity.  WOW.  Jenn is willing to get into the gross parts of my house, just to be with me.  How much more so Jesus enters the ugly black mess of my heart to make me clean...just to be with me.  Lesson Two.

And finally, here's what I have been thinking about my own response to Grace, um, I mean Jenn.  The prerequisite for receiving grace is need.  Actually it's better if it's desperation.  GRACE can only clean my mess to the degree I am willing to expose it and admit I need help.  OUCH.   In years past I wouldn't have admitted I needed help, and NEVER would I want to appear desperate.  I would've likely said no to Jenn's offer, all because I didn't want her to see my need.  The old EA was self-sufficient and wanted to make myself and my house look good before others entered, even though the messes were there.  The more I've exposed my need to Jenn, the more she's helped.   .

And like the old EA would've refused Jenn's help, how often I have said no to God's grace in my life.   I want to hack it on my own.  I want, so badly, to be good enough on my own.  In my pride, I've been unwilling to expose my spiritual needs to him and to his people.  Pride has kept me from receiving his help many times.  But more and more, God is showing me that his heart is full of love towards me.  And that gives me freedom to expose my mess and receive his help.  My need+his sufficiency=Grace at work in my life.  And I'm so thankful for this change in my heart, becoming more and more needy and desperate, seeing my sin for what it is and allowing Christ more and more into my mess to clean it.

I am so thankful that three children has made me desperate and needy for help with my house, as it's given me a deepening friendship with a really cool chick.  And I'm thankful that I'm growing more and more needy and desperate for help with my sin and brokenness, as it's given me a deepening friendship with a really cool God.

Lord, thank you that my desperation and neediness draw you to me rather than push you away. Would you continue to show me your heart of love for me.  As I see your love, would it give me  more freedom to expose, both to you and to others,  the dark places of my heart that desperately need your grace and help . Thank you that you are not put off by my mess, but you love entering in and helping...and thank you that your ultimate goal in entering in and cleaning is to be with me for eternity. How kind you are, Christ.

Lavish Provision

Andy was out of town for 5 days this past week and I was amazed, again, at the way God took care of us through his people.  I was so blessed and was reminded how awesome his people are and how lavish his care for his people is.

Andy was so kind to take the initiative and set up people to stay with me each night.  It was so fun to visit with friends and also have their help getting my kids and myself ready and out the door.  So it was a week-long sleep over for me with the Ways, the Anans, Brooke and Carissa staying each night!  That's a lot of adult conversation in one week!

My Bible study ladies really stepped up to help as well.  Shelley and her hubby came over and brought a meal and had dinner with us one night.  Jenn spent the afternoon here cleaning and hanging out and helped me take the kids out for a quick dinner. (She deserves her own post as she's been coming over once a week to hang out and help me clean)  Brooke even worked on setting up other people to help me but I had too much help!!  What over-the-top, lavish provision.  I'm so glad to have my husband home but I am also so thankful for the company and help each one of these dear friends provided.