GRATITUDE 219 The gift of work

Today I am grateful for the gift of work.  The rhythm that work brings to life is a gift.  The health and vitality that works brings, a gift. Having dominion is what we were made for.  Such a gift that God has given us.

GRATITUDE 218 These three

He's sweet.  Tender.  Energetic.  Thoughtful. Strong and athletic.

 She's creative and bright.  Compassionate.  Deep.  Sprinkled with cinnamon on her nose.  

 He is fun.  So fun.  And sweet. Gregarious and extroverted.  A great snuggler.  

 My beloveds.  My lovies.  My children.  

Learning much about God's heart of love for me, as my heart aches with love for these three.  Precious.  Treasured.  Worth every bit of my life poured out for them.  

GRATITUDE 217 The song he sings

There is music in the air.  The Holy Spirit is singing me a song today and the first few verses are piercing.  I want to turn off my heart to the sound.  Make it stop.  But today I can't.  The song is ringing loud and clear, my heart proving over and over the truth of his words.    The song is about my sin.

 But just as song reaches it's ugliest note, the pitch and tempo change and the song becomes the sweetest thing my ears have ever heard.  The words delight me and my wretched heart begins to come alive with the the new beat...it's the beat of the Father's heart.  It's the gospel song.  Though the verses told me of sin that reaches every nook and cranny of my heart, the chorus now tells me that Jesus did what I couldn't do....he faced every temptation, always trusting his father, always relying on the spirit.  He was tempted to be greedy, to self-promote, to judge, to hate, as I was today.  Where I have failed today, he triumphed.  He defeated sin by living perfectly  for me and dying my death.  He took the wrath I should absorb.  And that sweet Spirit just  keeps singing....the song gets better and better. I can't stop listening.  The beginning verses  taught my heart of my sin, the chorus of my redemption and the bridge, oh the bridge....I can't help but dance now,  the rhythm is so compelling.  The bridge sings to me of a new life, a new power, a new family, a new hope.  All mine.  All mine.

 This is my song today, as sin raged in my heart.  It's my song tomorrow.  And it'll be my song throughout all eternity.  Sing on, Spirit, sing on.

Romans 7

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^c For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Content with discontent

The wilderness of Paran, where Israel wandered for 40 years

If you know our story well, you know that stability has become sort of a novelty for us, surprising, rare, delightful.  It has come upon us so seldom in the past five years that its presence is surprising and not at all taken for granted.    It (stability) started happening a few months ago and I really thought we'd "arrived".  Finally we've landed in the promised land of stability, my heart starting thinking.  Yet once again, recent circumstances have ripped us right out of what I think of as my promised land and landed us back in the wilderness, groping, coping, and longing.

I am learning that stability is not my promised land.  This process is teaching me instead to be content with the discontent that life on earth brings.  I am learning to be sad over the brokenness of the now, while putting my hope not in the elusive over-promising and under-delivering "promised land" that I try to create on earth.

You see, we are all in the wilderness, longing for our promised land.  Whether it's the brokenness of a mind that causes chaos in a family, cancer, death, relational stress, our struggle against our sin or just the longing for more than this world can offer, we are aware that we are not home...

Yet God's presence is so real here in the wilderness.  As he led his people with the fiery cloud of his presence then, he so gently, yet powerfully leads me by his spirit and his word.  And he allows me fresh drinks from the ROCK of Christ when I am parched and languishing.  

Learning to hold all this in tension is taking time, but it's happening. He's teaching me how to be sad over the brokenness of our now, all the while joyfully partaking of his presence in the wilderness, and simultaneously longing to be fully in his presence, my true promised land.  I long for the redemption of our brokenness and sin, which has already begun. And more than those redemption stories being complete, there is a growing longing to see and be in the presence of the writer of these stories.  OH BLESSED REST to be with him.  HE is my promised land.

I don't want to cover up the brokenness of my now or run to some cheap imitation promised land that my heart creates.  Yet, I also don't want to focus only on the brokenness, as there is so much of his presence available to me now in the wilderness refresh and delight my soul.

How am I doing at being content with discontent  that this world brings?  What imitation promised lands am I  running to in order to soothe the longing in your heart for more? (THERE ARE SO MANY IN MY LIFE!!)  Do I see how God richly satisfies and sustains me here now in this wilderness?  I'm asking myself these questions today.

GRATITUDE 216 Unique precious jewels

Medieval Czech crown jewels on rare display in Prague.  Rarely on display as the value of the crown, which includes 96 jewels and dates back to the coronation of the king of Bohemia in 1347, is incalculable.  

To my dearest friends,
                Each of your friendships is a rare and precious jewel to me.  A gem that I treasure and love to behold regularly.  As I look upon the unique cuts of our friendships, I am in awe of the one who has faceted them, the one who has taken our simple friendships and over time has cut them into gems that reflect a unique internal brilliance from the inside and also disperse light into the world around us. Each friendship is so different, many with completely different cuts, yet each so beautiful to me.  

Though many gems naturally grow with facets that reflect light, making them to shine,God left it to the mind a man to discover more intricate and complex ways of cutting stones that maximize their ability to reflect light, giving them the beauty and brilliance that captures us.    A 17th century Italian named Peruzzi is thought to have first devised what is now known as the Brilliant Cut, undoubtedly the most widely known and used cut for diamonds.

Like the masters who carefully choose a cut that suits the stone and work with precision and care to bring as much brilliance as possible from the stone, our God is doing the same with our friendships.  So dear to me are the  friendships in which God has cut angles that reflect the light of silliness, coupled with angles that shine the beauty of a deep connection over God's word.  Precious to me are the friendships that have angles of shared love over crafts and nature, cooking, and laboring together to nurture our children's hearts.  Costly and treasured are the friendships that have been through fire yet shine just as brightly, if not brighter for the burning.  Our God has cut each of them so uniquely and beautifully, and there is brilliance to behold in each one.  A brilliance that mirrors the brilliance of the cut of the Trinity.

The angles and cuts of each friendship are as unique as each of you. You, my closest friends are   Costly.  Precious.  Treasured.  Stunning.  and your friendships, well,  they are the jewels in my crown.

GRATITUDE 215 Grateful for Gratitude

Gratitude has really transformed my heart this year.  A new awareness to all God has given me in and through his Son.  Gifts upon the GIFT.  And in my heart springs a new tenderness to my Father, as I grow in trust of his. good. heart.

I am putting gratitude into practice in new ways this week.  Gratitude is pushing me in an area where I feel disappointment.  Yes, it's true there are ways which this area of my life is less than I want it to be...but OH!  as I intentionally give thanks, I realize there's so much generosity from my Father in this area as well.  Gratitude, once again, is showing itself to be the means for renewing my perspective on my circumstances.  GRATEFUL for the command to give thanks in all circumstances.  Our God knows what he's talking about!

On that note...I've been giving thanks for small things this week related to my senses.

The smell of the dentist office.  Not that I love the smell but it represents that I go there enough to know the smell and that I can afford to have my teeth cared for.  Oh how lavish our life is.
The smell of a shoe store.  It hit me as I walked in this week.  Thankful for shoes and for money to buy them.
The familiar sound of my bread machine running all afternoon bringing back memories of a former life where bread baked and quiet Xiao Li's voice could be heard singing along to Chinese praise songs flowing from my living room.
The taste of homemade soup, not quite ready, on the stove.
The sight of fall decorations on my table.  Though it's hot outside, all things cozy are going on as we pretend fall.
The feeling of soft baby cheeks kissed as I put him down for his long nap, one of those I-have-a-cold- and-will-sleep-all-afternoon kind of naps.
The feeling of hot tears burning as I said goodbye to Elpis, our foster dog.  A love has grown in my heart for that little guy that I wasn't sure was possible. I love an animal.

Turns out these small things are really the big things...they are much more than the sound and the taste and the sight...they are about the heart.  About love between this mama and her child. About deep memories of gifts from the past. About humbling in my spirit, as I see that my God is a provider.  They are  about transformation...God making me a person who can overflow with love for even the littlest of his creation.  Gratitude is opening up the eyes of my heart to see the important things in life going on in invisible realm, between me and God and between me and my people. Turns out gratitude in the little things in really about the big things.

GRATITUDE 214 Halloween adventure

Halloween shopping with my bigs and sweet neighbor. Thankful today for fun with my kiddos!! We needed it after yesterday!