234 Thankful for Thanksgiving

What a fun day we had with our dear friends celebrating Thanksgiving!  So thankful for this day, these people, and a chance to give thanks in a BIG celebration kind of way!  

GRATITUDE 233 A year of Thanksgiving...My Reflections

I'm up early this morning to boil eggs, mash sweet potatoes, and make sure my turkey is happily brine-ing away.  My heart has been excited for this day all week.  Excited to celebrate with a few folks who are more like family than friends.  Excited to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with my kids, to break out the karaoke machine (YEP!), and excited to eat one of our favorite spreads of the year.

But more than those fun things, my heart has been excited for this day because it feels like an apex to my year of gratitude.  Rather than a day that jolts me out of my INGRATITUDE and startles me with the call to THANKSGIVING,  this day feels like I've reached a climax of sorts.  For a long time I have lived  a life of INGRATITUDE and this day felt awkward, my thanksgiving almost forced.

But God, by his grace, has given me such a gift in showing me his command to give thanks in all things, at all times.  This year I've slowly trudged my way out of the valley of ingratitude and made my way up the mountain of thanksgiving...and the views have been spectacular.  I've seen things in the light of his love and my heart has become tender by what I have seen.  Yes, through giving thanks each day and in as many circumstances as I could, my heart has been softened and humbled as my heart has finally recognized my good Father's lavish, loving care of me.

Yes, thanksgiving has been the rappelling rope that's pulled me out of the valley of ingratitude and connected me to my Father's heart.  As I have scaled this mountain, here's a glimpse of what I have seen:

God's command to give thanks is about living in the light of his loving presence.  Yes we should give thanks for what he does each day to care for us, as we are indebted to him for every.single.thing. we have - from the breath I just took, to the food I eat, to the relationships I enjoy.  But more than doing what we "should" do, God calls us to gratitude because he wants us to SEE CLEARLY his heart as a giver.  He loves to give. He gives lavishly, most fully seen in our salvation.  When I stay in my valley of ingratitude I don't see the gifts for what they are, and more than that, I don't recognize that I have a good, kind, tender Father who loves to lavish his children with good things.

So for me, this year has been about naming gifts, but more than that, it's been about scaling the mountain into the light of his presence, drawing closer to his heart by the rappelling rope of gratitude.

And in the difficult parts of my life, I have chosen to give thanks...because God calls me, yes.  But more than that, these are really some of my most precious gifts.  As God promises in his Word, the difficult parts of life (the suffering, the dying) are what brings new life, being formed into Christ's image (the resurrection) and makes me more ABLE to love enjoy him, the greatest gift....so in suffering I give thanks because those are my most precious gifts, severe though they my feel.  My Father loves me so much that he doesn't stop with the smaller gifts of life and food and friends but goes so far as to SAVE me and then through the suffering kills my old man and makes my new man come alive...alive to his presence, which is in fact the greatest gift.  Yes, enjoying his presence is the greatest gift!

So today, I will eat my turkey and stuffing on top of the mountain of gratitude.  The view from here is spectacular, folks.  God's heart for me and his presence have never been seen so clearly as they are from this crisp, clear view.

God, through his call to thanksgiving in all circumstance,s is calling us all to see him clearly from the top the mountain!!  Isn't the view amazing?

GRATITUDE 232 a storm and the washing away of shame

We'd barely finished breakfast and I already felt emotionally battered.  A conversation about a long-sore subject in my marriage to start the day.  SHAME.  A missed parent-teacher conference and a reminder call from the teacher. SHAME.  Running into a friend who I have hurt deeply yet feel helpless in repairing the wound. Awkward hellos and a deep desire for her to know my heart in the matter.  SHAME.   It was 8:30 and thoughts of failure and shame were doing their best to beat me up. Shame has a way of using the present failures to gut punch, and then it throws a sucker punch in the face with past failures and weaknesses, leaving us bloody and staggering.  And the day was just under way.

I whispered to God that I desperately needed him to meet me....

The rain fell.  I heated up last night's coffee.  I opened his Word and my heart to what he might say. 

Rain storms have become one of my deepest comforts here in Florida, and they are rare in the fall, so I counted it as a great gift for today during this much-needed time with God. Very little about Florida weather is cozy except these giant storms which stop life in its tracks, displaying God's voice in the thunder, his power in the lightning, his faithfulness in the rain.  This gift of an intense storm bringing stillness all around, setting the stage for stillness in my heart - yes, God was bringing comfort to my battered soul.

And these words on shame spoke deeply to me...  

God showed me that for my sins, I have rightful reason to be ashamed. This is appropriate shame. Yet my precious Savior has taken on my shame, becoming my sin so I could become God's righteousness. Oh, sinner saved by grace, Jesus has taken away the shame you should rightly feel for your failures and sins!  As children of God, our shame has been removed and we stand as those who are unashamed, bold, beautiful, holy.  NO SHAME.  

And what about those weaknesses that aren't sin yet cause me to feel shame?  Being unorganized and missing meetings.  Not communicating with a friend the way I wished I would jave...And those tip-of-the-iceberg weakness have a way of reminding me of those deeper weaknesses that won't melt away as long as I live. Yes, my weakness run deep.  What does Jesus say to the shame I feel when those come up?

He calls us to boast in them! YES, BOAST! Yet how can I go from shame to boasting?   

God revealed this morning that my shame is so often self-centered rather than God-centered.  Rather than being rightly ashamed for what dishonors God, I am ashamed of what dishonors me in man's eyes. Rather than looking to honor Christ, I am looking to the world to honor me!  

Repentance needed.  Forgiveness granted.  Moving forward...

Christ's love is a banner over my life that says I am loved, adored, cherished just as I am, and it frees me from needing honor from the world!  In fact, it frees me so much that I can go so far as to boast in my weakness.  My weaknesses and my openness about them bring great glory to God because they show his enough-ness.  Rather than standing on my own strengths or accomplishments (which bring me honor in man's eyes) I can say with Paul, "His grace is sufficient, for his power is made perfect in my weakness...and I will therefore boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses."  Rather than feeling ashamed when I see my weaknesses, I can go the opposite direction, knowing that my God is so pleased with me when I boast about them!  Yes, now that I am firmly planted on the rock of his great love for me, I can boast about what makes me look small, foolish, and weak...because it makes him look big, wise, enough.  And isn't that what I really want?  

The antidote to shame over sin...the cross and what he says about me now.  

The antidote to my shame over weakness...looking to his love, repenting of self-centered shame, moving out in faith to boast in what makes me look weak and shows his great love and power.  

The rain fell all morning.  And God's words washed my shame away.  

Those who look to the Lord are radiant,

their faces shall never be ashamed. 

--Psalm 34:5

GRATITUDE 231 Home. Refreshed. Thankful.

So much to be thankful for now that I am home!

Happy hugs from all my kiddos and husband!
Restored health for our flu-ridden family
Strength to get back into groove of life-oh hello laundry and dishes, I remember you!
Left overs in the fridge from friends
Such a good time away with family and friends.  Such a gift.
T I M E to sit. to write. to drink lots of coffee.  to talk to my Gmaw
Time with
Angie
Sheryl
Kristi
Paula
Pam
Brandi
Chelsea

Gifts.  Thankful for a week away.  Looking forward to a week of naming graces back on the homefront!

GRATITUDE 230 A Veteran's Day Reflection

Like a troop of hungry men, these elderly gentlemen lined up with their trays, waiting patiently for their meal. K and W had joined America's celebration by offering a free meal to any United States veteran. As these elderly men shuffled along, cafeteria women slopped free helpings of chicken and stuffing and turnip greens on their plates, a kind yet meager attempt to thank these men for all they did for our country.   I marveled at all these men, proudly wearing hats that told of their service in wars gone by. Did this cafeteria style line take them back to the days when they lined up for a meal, hungry and tired after their shift fighting in the trenches? Or perhaps they were remembering the meager rations they shared with men who lost their lives alongside them. These men, each with a story to tell, no doubt, deserves a free meal, and so much more for their service of America.

I wish I could sit across from each man and hear his story of war. To eat our plates of chicken and stuffing together and let him me of the losses he saw, the sacrifices he made, the fears he had to conquer. To hear him tell with pride why it was worth it. Why America was worth it. Veteran's day fills my eyes with tears and my heart with gratitude for all these men and the ones fallen did for freedom. For justice. For America.

As my mind lingers in the cafeteria, my heart draws me to another meal, another celebration. The day that we, the eternally free, will celebrate our hero. He is the only veteran in this eternal battle for the freedom of a people he loved, a people held captive by sin and by a terrible enemy. At the party of all parties, he will set the meal before us. And Oh how I long to hear him tell his story. All the sacrifices of all the wars the world has ever known couldn't amount to the loss he took in laying down his own life, in losing his Father's approval, in taking on the wrath that sin deserved, to win this eternal battle. To defeat Satan and death and sin and rescue his people. This Hero deserves a cosmic celebration and that is just what he will have.

You see, the lives of the men in K and W and the ones America lost are telling the greater story of the greatest Hero. And just like those elderly men shuffling along with their free servings of banana pudding would tell us it was worth, so our hero will tell us THE WAR WAS WORTH IT. FREEDOM was worth it. JUSTICE was worth it. HIS KINGDOM and HIS PEOPLE were worth it. On that great Veteran day, no doubt, our hearts will fill gratitude, our eyes with tears, and we will bow before the HERO, saying with voice, WORTHY IS THE LAMB WHO WAS SLAIN!

GRATITUDE 229 so much

Fall leaves

Dinner with a family that loves me like their own

Airplane contrails

Brisk cool morning for a walk

Flock of birds landing nearby as I sat

Breathing deeply

Time to be

A morning run with my BFF since first grade

The comfort of old friends like her

The promises of God

My husbands sacrificial work caring for now sick kiddos so I can rest

Promises of future grace

A grandfather who cooks me breakfast every morning 

A grandmother who chats with me past midnight 

So many graces. So many gifts. 

GRATITUDE 228 Reading His story

The story God is writing is Breathtaking. Humbling. Mind Blowing. When I am zoomed in on what is right before me, it's hard to tell what is actually going on. But with eyes of faith I read the story in God's word and I am able to step back and see the greater story God is writing. It's a story that showcases the goodness and heart of the Author. It's about the glory of his grace. It's so much bigger than what he's doing in our little lives, or even our little slice of history. His story is happening on a grand scale, a cosmic scale. You see, God is writing the story of all stories and he is letting us read, no, live in the only story every written. Does it take your breath away to be part of this story?

The Author has always been. Yet he spoke this story into being and for now, the stage is this earth. He created this stage, full of beauty and warmth, a place where his people lived in innocence and peace, and in perfect relationship with their Author.

The stage quickly darkens as sin enters. The people don't trust the good Author. They hate the Author want to write their own stories. Now Innocence is gone. Perfect relationship with the Author is impossible. Their hearts are broken and the stage itself is broken. Though the Author loves the people, Sin and Death will play leading roles on the stage. As nations are formed and people multiply, sin and brokenness find their way into every individual story, every family's story, every nations story. Every heart hates the Author and the people have no power to free themselves from the sin and death that they invited onto the stage.

This darkening of the stage was written into the story before it began, because it sets the stage for Mercy and Grace. It sets the stage for the Author to showcase his heart of grace.  Before the story began, the Author planned the rescue. As sin and darkness take front stage, the promises of a rescuer give foretastes of how he will rewrite the story he's allowed them to create. The two thousand years of stories he writes in Israel's history of sin and rebellion set the stage for MERCY and GRACE to take the leading role. Can you imagine the darkness of those times as they waited?

No one would've ever guessed that the HERO would be the Author's son. But, remember, the story was meant to showcase his heart, his grace and the Author-man would do just that. In his life, he battles Brokenness and Sin and Death in a cosmic battle that ends on a cross. The Author-man of the story gives up his life on the stage he created to give the decisive blow to his enemies and rescue the people who have turned on him. This is the saddest and happiest moment in the story. The stage literally shakes at his death.  This moment is the climax of the story, the apex of seeing the glory of the grace of the heart of the Author, for this moment undoes SIN and DEATH and BROKENNESS for all who will trust the HERO.  Everything that has ever happened on the stage has been pointing to this moment. In victory over death, the Hero rises from the dead, showing that DEATH will not rule the stage anymore.

The chapter turns and he sends his followers out tell the grand story. He gives him his power to play their part of the stage and tell the story. To tell the people on the stage that sin and death and brokenness have been overcome by the Hero. That the grace of the HERO saves them from the WRATH they deserve. The Author doesn't want to wipe them off the stage, no he wants to bring them onto the next stage. YES the next!! .

You see, the story won't be played out on this stage forever. No, there's a new stage coming. The next chapter will open with the Hero's return. He will be King and death and sin will take the final blow and be no more. The old stage will be tossed away, and a new stage, yes a new earth will appear, and a city that cannot be shaken. What began in a garden on the old earth, was just a foreshadowing on what will re-begin in a city, on the new earth. This new stage will be like the garden, but so much better. Innocence and warmth, peace, and security will return. Like this new earth, we too will be made new, made like the hero. The people of the city will know the heart of the Author in a way the people of the garden couldn't . They will then see clearly the glory of the Author's grace in the face of the HERO and the memory of his death for them. The people on that stage will sing with full hearts of love and worship for being written into this grand story before it ever began. And because the Author is so good and generous and loves his HERO and people so much, that stage will never pass away.

As I zoom back in to my little life with these eyes of faith, I know where we are in the story. I know that the Author his showing divine patience towards this stage. Yes, he's gathering a people for the next chapter, a people who will trust in his HERO. As I see my life in view of the greater story being written, my heart gets in step with what the Author is doing. I want the small story of my life to tell the grand story of the heart of the Author. I want my life to showcase his MERCY and GRACE as I love the HERO and his cross and help others to do the same. Though my life on this stage will be brief, the grand story which I have been written into will never end.

When you read the story you've been written into, does it take your breath away? Do you see the kind and gracious heart of the Author as you read it? Like me, do you struggle at times to see the greater story, getting bogged down in the dailyness of life? What things help you remember the greater story and seek grace to tell the grand story in the smaller story of your life?