Lessons from this Season

My dear friend  Marianne and I were chatting on the phone a couple weeks ago.   Our conversations usually start out chatty and ridiculously fun as talk about trivial things in our life...and then we almost always move on deep and real issues of the heart-she's a soul friend and the connection God has given us reaches into some of the deepest places of my being.  I love her and the way God has used her in my life.  He continues to do so even though we haven't seen each other face to face since our feet were both on Chinese soil.

Anyway, our friendship, which is upheld by years of history together and is currently nourished by random phone calls is as strong as ever...and we were talking the other day and she mentioned something she'd read in a book.  I can't remember exactly, but the the gist of it was that we live most in touch with reality when we are living in gratitude and in complete dependence on God.  That really struck her and I've been mulling that over for the past couple weeks.   When we live with hearts full of gratefulness it's because we see clearly the reality  that everything we have is a gift from God, a gift we don't deserve. And that even the hard things in our lives are meant for our ultimate good.  And when we are seeing this reality for what it is, our response is gratefulness.

And like, newborns, we are utterly dependent on God for everything.  Everything.  What can a newborn do for itself?  My little Judah is completely, in every way, dependent on me and on my good will, to meet his needs-both physically and emotionally.  And whether we know it or not, this is our state with God.  We are completely unable to do anything to take care of ourselves.  When we live like little children, who look to their parents for everything, we are most in touch with reality.

God is teaching me to live this way.  Like the Israelites looking to God for their manna each day, he's teaching me to look to him more and more and to realize that my need for him is greater than their need for food.. With three little ones, I am really flying by the seat of my pants.  There's not enough of me to meet every one's needs nor time to think about how to meet my own needs.  But God is thinking about it...and I am watching him provide the manna I need at each and every bend of the road.  Just the other day I was feeling anxious and down.  And a friend called with just the words I needed to hear.  I was reminded that God knew what I needed and he provided.  And then later I needed a sitter for Jack (which I should have arranged in advance but didn't cause that's how things are these days) And my friend just "happened" to have a free hour of time at the same time as my appointment while she waited for her kids at co-op. And their co-op met just a couple miles from the place I needed to go. Yep. just thanked the Lord for working that out for me.   These two things are among the many reminders I have been given lately that I am really dependent on the Lord for all my needs and that he knows perfectly how to meet them.

I love the verse that says (my paraphrase here) His delight is in those who put their hope in his steadfast love. He loves it when we are staking our all on his steadfast love for us.  Lord, help me to look to you to provide for every need and help me to live in dependence on you today.