Judging by the Flesh

Christ had just rebuked the Pharisees for condemning the woman caught in adultery.  "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw the stone,"  He's making it clear to them that they have no right to set themselves up as judge over another, because they are just like her, sinful.  In an amazing act of grace, he, the one who has the right to judge, turns to her and tells her HE doesn't judge her.  The only one whose opinion really matters, the rightful ruler and judge, who sat enthroned on high for all eternity, had now come to earth to show he wasn't judging her....no he was going keep the law for her with a pure heart and take on the judgement and punishment she deserved.  This was grace.

After showing this never seen before kind of grace, Jesus returns to his conversation with the Pharisees.  "You judge according to the flesh" he tells them.  You see, the Pharisees had created all kinds of standards by which to judge people.  The law, which God had given was a part of their standard, and they had added even more burden to the law with their rituals and rules.  And they judged according to this fleshly standard.  The law was intended to show his people their evil hearts and their need for a Savior.  To show them the kind of life and the kind of heart God wanted and make them mournful over their sin.    Instead the leaders of the people, ironically the ones who studied this law day in and out, perverted it into a system of making themselves feel good.  In their flesh, they kept the rules and thus they felt righteous.  They had set themselves as judge, all the while missing the point that in our flesh, we can't be righteous.  Rules don't change our hearts.  Period. 

As I have thought over these verses, I see in myself the same heart of the Pharisees.  OH I have been given so much grace.   Not only do I know the law and how I don't keep it, I also personally know the one who kept it for me!  He is my Savior, yet I too want to be the judge.  I set up systems and rules for myself and others that feel attainable.  When I meet them, I feel pretty good about myself.  And when I don't, then I feel bad and I may even be tempted (like the Pharisees) to look around for someone who is "worse" than me, by my standard of course.  

I FALL AWAY FROM GRACE SO OFTEN!!    I hop on the judgment seat and use silly standards that I create to justify or condemn myself.  Recently, I have noticed this tendency in myself when it relates to how I am doing as a mother and as a school parent volunteer. It may sound small and silly, but my heart can find any pitiful way of justifying itself.  As I begin to drop some balls in both areas, that creeping feeling of condemnation starting coming in.  It took me a while to realize, but it was through this passage of scripture that God revealed what I was doing.  "You judge by the flesh."  I was looking to my actions, if I please the teacher's standards and got her approval, if I did enough at home, etc to make me feel justified.  (It's a pitifully low standard, yet it's the one my heart had created) Jesus pierced my heart with his words, showing me that I had fallen away from grace and was once again judging myself by my standards, by the flesh.  I was trying to be judge, rather than letting my Heavenly Father be my judge.

The good news for me, and for all of us who love Jesus is this:   Our hearts are so much more wicked and black than we can even know. There is in fact a standard I should meet:  holiness.  God knows my heart.  No amount of volunteer hours clocked or being a "gentle and kind" mom could ever change the sin in my heart.  YET the one who sits enthroned over all the earth and has the right to judge us and WILL judge all humanity, DOESN'T condemn me!  Because the only one without sin didn't pick up that stone to condemn me.  Instead, he became my sin so that I could become God's righteousness.  And now, all I know is grace.  God delights in me.  God sees me as a perfect child. 

The applications seem almost silly, but really they are huge. This is about whether or not I am walking in step with the gospel.  Whether or not I am returning to the yoke of slavery which Christ died to free me from.   I can hold my head up high when I walk into that school tomorrow EVEN THOUGH I DROPPED THE BALL AND MISSED TWO WEEKS OF VOLUNTEERING.  I am not held to a fleshly standard.  And I can stand in FREEDOM and LOVE rather than condemnation when I fail at home.  Living a life free of self condemnation is about taking myself off the judgement seat, and recognizing the grace given from the one who is TRULY on the seat.  Whether or not I hold my head up high tomorrow when I walk in that school is really about living in the freedom Jesus bought for me and magnifying him for it.  

So today, I am throwing my own standards out the window, I am kicking the systems and the rules out the back door!  And I am taking that judgement seat I have been sitting on and tossing it in the dump!!  I will not judge by the flesh.  I will let God judge me by the spirit.  I will open my windows to grace.  I will open my front door wide to the love and approval of my heavenly Father.  And when I am tempted to get back on that judgement seat, I will choose to look at Jesus who took the stones for me and to my Heavenly Father, the only one who is judge, and know that there is nothing but  grace flowing from his throne!

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1

GRATITUDE 224 Kennedy!

So thankful for this precious new life!  My first niece!  Introducing Kennedy Blake Thacker!  I'm in love!

GRATITUDE 223 Friendship

I knew she was a gift the first day I met her.  I'd been praying for her for three years, asking God to bring a friend who loved Jesus to live next door in the vacant house.  I prayed fervently and boldly for this friend.  And out of all the people who had offers on that house (there were many) and in the midst of a crazy and complicated process to purchase this house, God choose her.  I am sure his plans for having her live next door to me are much bigger than my little prayers to have a Christian neighbor.  But God was listening to my little prayers.  HE WAS!!  And now I get to enjoy this gem of a friend week in and week out.  So thankful for you Jo, for your love for crafts and cooking, for our girls night out, for the way you so kindly and tenderly love my children.  Thankful that coming home means even more now that you are my neighbor!  I love you and I am so thankful for you!

A promise

I've been reading the story of Noah this week and thinking on God's promise. Thinking on how the people must have clung to that promise when they feared the wrath their sins deserved.    The antidote to their fears was clinging and trusting to the promise.  And for us, in the new covenant, we have an EVEN GREATER promise to cling to in Christ when confronted with our sin and the rightful wrath we deserve.

She had blown it.  Again.  She left potatoes boiling and walked out of the house towards the field where the tomatoes were still green on the vine.  Her mind was reeling as she replayed the words and actions of the past few minutes.  Condemnation gave way to shame as her mind moved from the guilt of that action to the guilt of her person.   She was dark and evil and she couldn't change.  As she gently fingered the wilting leaves of her plants, drops of rain gave a welcome distraction from the inner dialogue.  She was thankful.  They hadn't seen rain in over a week.  The rain fell harder and harder as dark clouds closed around her growing village.  For a moment the loud thunder of the downpour was a a bit louder than the screaming of her heart, pronouncing her guilty, once again. She picked up her step and looked for cover under a nearby tree.  The tree was still young, as all the trees were, and didn't provide the needed cover.

 And then it hit her.  That old fear.  It was a fear her heart knew well, as she had wrestled it since she was a little girl.  She'd heard her parents tell the story of the flood that had destroyed everything.  She knew first hand the pain and toil of starting over after the destruction.  Her whole life had been about rebuilding from that flood.  Her grandparents and her great grandparents were on that boat, and she knew that God was serious about evil.  He hated it.  And she was full of it.  What if, she thought, it happens again.  What if, she thought, my sin and the sin of our family has grieved his heart again to the point of destroying us? The fear was so intense that she could barely take the first step to walk home.

These paths in her mind were as well worn as the path leading to her little garden.  As she walked home, now totally drenched from the rain, the path in her mind finally led to her momma's words.  You see, as a little girl, this fear had gripped her, stealing peace in the day and her sleep at night.  And her  mother would gently whisper the same words over and over until she could sleep.  "Our God made a promise, child.  And he won't break it.  He promised seed time and harvest.  He promised day and night, rhythms that won't end.  He said he knows our hearts, the evil that springs forth even as children.  Yet he won't destroy us again.  He won't, dear child.  He promised."  And just as those words had pushed her to trust as a child, she had to make the choice to trust once again.  Trust was was all she had.  His promise was all she had.  He was all she had.

Almost home and ready to face the destruction she'd created with those words and that action, she looked to the sky longing to see those colors again.  To be reminded.  Though she couldn't find them, she knew her God could see them and that seemed to be enough.   Comfort came rushing in.  She knew her sin.  She knew the promise. More than that,  He knew the promise.  He was remembering.  He would keep his word.

The rain fell hard for the rest of the day and into the night.  She whispered apologies but knew it would take a while for wounds to heal.   Once again remembering his promise and remembering him proved to be enough to set her heart at ease on her most sinful days.  His promise not to destroy, but give life, gave  her a hope she didn't fully understand. As she lay down to finally rest those weary legs, the sound of the rain was strangely soothing now.

GRATITUDE 222 A prayer walk

Today was a rough day. My heart so needed to be reminded of my God who is good. Who loves lavishly. Who has washed me clean. Who is kind. And a prayer walk with a friend brought the reminder my heart was sooo in need of! Thankful for a set time to meet this friend for prayer and time in God's word. Thankful for pumpkins and sandhill cranes. For bright blue skies and pine cones. Thankful for the renewed perspective our time praying brought to my ever forgetful heart. 

GRATITUDE 221 Friends

Thankful today for the gift of friends... For my kiddos and for me. A friend who journeys honestly authentically and bravely. Love this mamma friend 

GRATITUDE 220 Still naming graces

Jackie boy has been busy fighting two strands of the flu...it's taken him a whole week to fight them off but he's back on track.  Seems Andy is coming down with the same thing now:(  But in the midst of sickness, still so many graces to be named.

Thankful for extra time with my sick boy this week.  I love that kid.
Thankful for white blood cells and the job they do.  Amazing really.  Thankful for restored health for Jack.
Thankful for a friend who bought me a latte when I was starting to feel run down myself.  (too much time in your house with a sick kids makes you feel sick even if you aren't!)
Thankful for my sister's new baby and how smoothly her delivery went!  YAY for new life!
Thankful for a blustery day and fall temperatures.
Thankful for grace from some friends.  Needed it this week,
Thankful for how hard the public school teachers work to accommodate each child's learning needs.
For coffee.  For Jo who brought it when I needed it.  For bougainvillea, one of my favorite flowers and the clipping of it that is sitting at my sink.
Thankful for cute kids in sweatshirts this morning making a fort in my backyard.