Open for Business

If, for some strange and unthinkable reason, you should end up in our little town in the middle of nowhere and need to run a few errands, there are a few things you might want to know...

First of all, you'll need proper transportation...

And if you've spent any previous time in our town, your mode of transportation might look like mine-slightly dirty, with bad suntan lines and painted with crazy flowers by a local lady all for $1.50.

It's preferable to run errands with a buddy...

And in order for you to draw as much attention to yourself as possible, it's great if your buddy will wear an ensemble of mismatching clothes, hat, and sunglasses and carry an umbrella, even though it's bright and sunny. Your buddy may want to carry her own buddy who is missing pants, further drawing attention to your caravan. Once you're on the road, it's best to stop by the nearest store for a lollipop for your buddy. Things will go much smoother that way, I promise. And in our town, you can do or buy anything...well almost. Like you might want to stop at the tailor and have some of your kids' shirts altered. The tailor shop also sells VCDs, which is kinda like a DVD but way worse in quality. It's the step between VHS and DVDs. America skipped that step. But if you're in the market for a VCD or altered clothing or need to buy some jewelry (see jewelry board), or need to use a public phone (see the blue phone), this is your stop.
And you may need to stop by the shoe shining and repair shop to pick up your repaired shoes.

And no trip out in our town is complete without a stop to the "Everything Store." This store has everything from toys and school supplies to bathing suits and hair bows. And if they don't have what you need, they'll be happy to pick it up for you at the wholesale market. Glorious. So far, they've helped us buy a baby doll stroller, a paper cutter, a trophy, and a toy crane, and a partridge in a pear tree.


And the 15 ladies that work at the store will entertain your buddy while you shop.




And when you get home, your buddy will be wiped out from all the excitement on the town and take a great nap. And you will wash your feet because they are so dirty, put away all the items you purchased, and sit down and eat the Chic Fila sandwich you picked up while out running your errands. Oh, one can dream.

Like the sign on I77 as you enter West Virginia, , our town is "Open for Business!" .