I whispered to God that I desperately needed him to meet me....
The rain fell. I heated up last night's coffee. I opened his Word and my heart to what he might say.
Rain storms have become one of my deepest comforts here in Florida, and they are rare in the fall, so I counted it as a great gift for today during this much-needed time with God. Very little about Florida weather is cozy except these giant storms which stop life in its tracks, displaying God's voice in the thunder, his power in the lightning, his faithfulness in the rain. This gift of an intense storm bringing stillness all around, setting the stage for stillness in my heart - yes, God was bringing comfort to my battered soul.
And these words on shame spoke deeply to me...
God showed me that for my sins, I have rightful reason to be ashamed. This is appropriate shame. Yet my precious Savior has taken on my shame, becoming my sin so I could become God's righteousness. Oh, sinner saved by grace, Jesus has taken away the shame you should rightly feel for your failures and sins! As children of God, our shame has been removed and we stand as those who are unashamed, bold, beautiful, holy. NO SHAME.
And what about those weaknesses that aren't sin yet cause me to feel shame? Being unorganized and missing meetings. Not communicating with a friend the way I wished I would jave...And those tip-of-the-iceberg weakness have a way of reminding me of those deeper weaknesses that won't melt away as long as I live. Yes, my weakness run deep. What does Jesus say to the shame I feel when those come up?
He calls us to boast in them! YES, BOAST! Yet how can I go from shame to boasting?
God revealed this morning that my shame is so often self-centered rather than God-centered. Rather than being rightly ashamed for what dishonors God, I am ashamed of what dishonors me in man's eyes. Rather than looking to honor Christ, I am looking to the world to honor me!
Repentance needed. Forgiveness granted. Moving forward...
Christ's love is a banner over my life that says I am loved, adored, cherished just as I am, and it frees me from needing honor from the world! In fact, it frees me so much that I can go so far as to boast in my weakness. My weaknesses and my openness about them bring great glory to God because they show his enough-ness. Rather than standing on my own strengths or accomplishments (which bring me honor in man's eyes) I can say with Paul, "His grace is sufficient, for his power is made perfect in my weakness...and I will therefore boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses." Rather than feeling ashamed when I see my weaknesses, I can go the opposite direction, knowing that my God is so pleased with me when I boast about them! Yes, now that I am firmly planted on the rock of his great love for me, I can boast about what makes me look small, foolish, and weak...because it makes him look big, wise, enough. And isn't that what I really want?
The antidote to shame over sin...the cross and what he says about me now.
The antidote to my shame over weakness...looking to his love, repenting of self-centered shame, moving out in faith to boast in what makes me look weak and shows his great love and power.
The rain fell all morning. And God's words washed my shame away.
Those who look to the Lord are radiant,
their faces shall never be ashamed.
--Psalm 34:5
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