One of my favorite people in the world celebrated his 77th Birthday yesterday. When I called to wish him a happy birthday, I asked how old he was. "I'm 77...over half way there!" He always says silly things like that! Paw Paw I love you and I'm so thankful for you!
This year my Grandfather bought me 3 tiny tomato plants while he and my Gmaw were visiting us. I was pretty sure I would kill them, but with his patient coaching, I actually have these pretty red things to show for my/his/God's work...
I've been enjoying tomato sandwiches, a NC fave and we've had some yummy salsa and a salad or two topped with them. And of course, I sliced a few and just ate them with salt...I have so many memories of sitting on my grandparents couch late at night watching the 11 o'clock news and eating sliced tomatoes. Yum.
And on top of enjoying the fruit of our labor, God really used these tomatoes to teach me a few things. Paw Paw, I hope you enjoy a little view into how God used you and these tomatoes to teach me a few things over the past several months. Your gift to me ended up being so much more than you could've ever known...
I think I am officially entering the "toddler/preschool" stage of my walk with the Lord. As I have been walking with him for 12ish years now, it seems I am may be progressing past the baby stage??? And we toddlers, well, we are pretty wobbly and though we've moved past just milk, we still need things cut up in small bites for us. We still need a lot of hand holding. We still need daily to be reminded to "trust and obey" (I'm constantly talking to my own preschoolers about this). And we need lots of object lessons. LOTS. If I were to list out the object lessons God has given me in the past few months, you too would agree I am firmly in the toddler/preschool phase of my relationship with him. I am just blown away at how God has been reaching into the mundane and ordinary of my life and teaching me such deep truths about himself. From paintings I've prayed for (and then received) to Sheryl's visit teaching me lessons about his grace, the list just keeps growing. These tomato plants taught me quite the lesson as well-about parenting and about the perfect parent.
See, I have no gardening knowledge WHATSOEVER. So I just stayed close to my grandfather to make sure I didn't kill these things. I asked the master gardener lots of questions. I mean lots. How much to water. When to water.
Show me how much water please. How much sun should they get? After he left, I kept calling him with more questions. When to fertilize. How much. When to transfer into bigger pots. At some point it hit me that my little tomato plants were a lot like my children. These plants were way more work than I would have ever imagined. Much like parenting. So worth it, but so much work. And I, the novice gardener have NO idea what I am doing. I must stay close to the master gardener and learn from him. Much like in my parenting. "You've come to far to let these plants die" my grandfather told me on one of our weekly coaching calls. So much like parenting. In these short 5 years, I have already invested so much in these little ones. And I need to endure, and in the end my efforts will bear fruit. I was reminded of a verse I often go to on hard days in parenting. "Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up." Oh Lord, give me strength to keep doing good to these little plants you have entrusted to me...and I don't mean the tomatoes.
The lessons kept coming. These plants were costly. Really costly. A lot like parenting. Once they were entrusted to my care, we started to have problems. Major problems. First it was the leaf footed stink bugs. Then some kind of worms, then a calcium deficiency that was causing them to rot. And I had to research (with my grandfather's help of course) each of these issues to find the proper solution. Much like parenting. Issues in my kids hearts spring up all the time and I am called to nurture them and guard them, giving them the right food for their souls and with God's strength, root out some of these issues I see plaguing them. And each solution for my plants, be it fertilizer to provide more calcium or organic pesticide to rid them of bugs, cost me a pretty penny. I estimate that the bowl of salsa I served last week at our small group cost me about 25 dollars. Much like parenting-it is costly. To really invest in my children's needs and to diligently nuture, shape and guide their hearts is costing me my life. Some days I honestly, selfishly don't want to give my life for them. But it's worth it, so worth it. They are worth it. God is glorified when I lay down my life for them, like Christ did for me.
And it was at this point I realized that the master gardener, my Father in heaven, knows exactly what my children need and he knows exactly what I need. In this life, he is parenting me. And he is gentle and attentive and diligent and faithful. He cares for me perfectly. My sin and my needs are more than I can ever solve on my own. But he faithfully remedies each of them, in his perfect wisdom and timing. He knows when I need a refreshing drink of water and when I need protection from outside attack. And he also knows, as I am learning, how to remedy my biggest problems, the sin on the inside...
I got different opinions from different sources on what my plants needed. "Its getting hot here, so you need to put them in shade. Too much sun is bad for them" But my plants had a fungus and I was told, "You must expose them to full sun to get rid of the fungus." WHAT????? You see, the sun would in fact almost wither my little plants away, but it was the one thing they needed to get rid of their fungus. Like the last two years of my life, God has been exposing Andy and I to some tremendous heat. And it's felt at times that we would literally wither away under the heat.. But as I have reflected on my plants and on these last few years, I've realized that God was actually being incredibly wise and merciful with us. Like the fungus in my tomatoes, there were some major sin/idolatry issues in our hearts that were eating us from the inside. Our tomatoes plants were really unable to bear good fruit because of their fungus, and it took extreme measures to rid them of it. It's been the same with us. These past two years have been incredibly trying for us but I can see that God has been ridding us of some very specific fungi that made us unable to bear fruit that really honored him. And only under the extreme heat could this sin be burned away. I am now so grateful for what he has allowed us to walk through. He is my perfect parent and like it says in John 15, he wants me to bear lasting, good fruit in my life.
So parenting, like caring for my tomato plants, is hard work. It costs me everything. And it cost him everything to parent me. It cost him his life to bring me into his family. And everyday he continues to give his all to grow me (his little fungus ridden plant) into a plant that bears much fruit for his glory.
I think we (Andy and I, and our little ones, Lord willing) will make a tasty salsa when this thing is all said and done!
Happy Birthday to my favorite earthly gardener, Otis Glenn Phillips!!!!
